Most of us are not good at promoting what we do.  We do all of those little behind-the-scenes activities so that kids can shine, but we seldom want the credit for it. I think that part of our personality makes many of us a good fit for this profession. We need to get outside of that comfort zone so that more people can hear the good news. Don’t want to promote yourself? No problem, just start celebrating all of the great things your program is doing for kids!

In this day and age of data-driven, results-oriented education, it’s more important than ever to put those hard-and-fast numbers to the good that we’re doing. To be sure, much of what we do is difficult to quantify, so keeping track of what we can becomes that much more important. As education budgets continue to shrink, we find ourselves more and more on the brink of that cutting line. Administrators and school boards need to be fully aware of the positive impacts of your school counseling program.

My own program has a few things to celebrate:

• First grade boys are now seeing fewer behavior referrals for aggressive behaviors.
• Second Step is fully implemented k-5, and staff is reporting better interpersonal actions between students. Behavior data would seem to support this.
• Students are gaining valuable skills in empathy, emotion management, and problem-solving skills, all which support social-emotional learning.
• We’re beginning to put the pieces in place to be an ASCA model program, which will only help improve student outcomes through better program delivery.

So if you don’t want to celebrate National School Counseling Week for yourself, celebrate the great things your program is doing for kids. After all, that’s why we do what we do!

National School Counseling Week – American School Counselor Association.

Photo credit: Entering Fee Area, Plate 2, used by permission under this Creative Commons License.

In terms of time commitment, it’s a very small part of what you do.  You put a lot of effort into learning it, and then it might be a few years before you actually put it into practice. Then, you get that email, or phone call, or note in your box:  ”This student just lost a parent/sibling.”  You do some follow-up, then clear your schedule for the next few hours. You’re about to do some grief/crisis counseling in heavy doses for the immediate future.

I have very recently needed to help a student who just lost a parent in a very sudden and tragic way. Even with all the training I’ve had (or maybe because of it), I had to be reminded of a few things. For one, I can’t ‘fix’ anything. I can’t even make it feel better. I’m there to hang out. Listen. Affirm. Reflect. Reassure.  Offer resources, and perhaps most importantly, be that link between the numbness of grief and the sense of normalcy that seems nowhere to be found.  A safe place.

To be sure, I’m a better grief counselor for the resources and training I’ve had. Specifically, the numerous sessions I’ve spent with Cheri Lovre have been invaluable to how I approach a traumatic situation with a student. And we’ve received some very helpful grief counseling resources from our local hospice organization.  Theoretically, my goal is to help kids understand stages of grief and give words to what they are feeling inside. But because every situation is different, and every child handles the grief process a little differently, I don’t follow a clear action plan for times like this. I don’t have an ASCA domain, standard, and competency to work with, except for the very broad category of ‘Responsive Services.’  I’m trying to guide a child through something that I don’t fully comprehend myself. Really, it’s one of the few times in my job when I have to just respond to the situation in front of me, and pray to God that the sum total of my training and experience is enough to get us both through it.

A few thoughts concerning grief counseling in general:

• Delayed outward signs of grief aren’t unusual in kids, even up to six months or so. You might be working with this student and family a year after the incident. You really can’t hurry along the process, you can just help it to happen in a healthy manner and safe environment.
• Depending on the age of the student, they may not be at a developmental level to give words to the intense feelings they have inside.
• Long moments of silence are ok, and can be beneficial. I try not to force something to say just for the sake of keeping a conversation going.
• There is no one-size-fits-all approach.
• Your own issues surrounding grief and loss may will surface during this time. Be aware of them. (I know that you know that; I just wanted you to know that I know that.)
• Keep in touch with your circle of counselors about the situation. This is a good time for collaboration, something I’m learning the value of more in general each year that I do this gig.
• Keep in touch with the parents and communicate progress about their child. Be prepared to refer the family to a private or community-based counselor who specializes in grief/loss issues if you believe that the child is at a point where you can no longer help them.

It’s quite a journey we’re making together.

In my previous post, I recounted five items from 2011 that have had an impact both on me professionally, and on the counseling program in my building in general. Now, we’re going to look ahead to 2012 with some plans and ideas that are pushing us forward in the new year.

• In case you haven’t noticed, this blog has a new look and a new name.  I’m not one of these bloggers that changes the look for their site every five minutes, but I did want to improve the layout and accessibility of the content here. Hopefully you’ll find things easier to get to. I settled on the new name to reflect the direction our program is taking.
• Along those same lines, I’d like to open up the content here and feature some guest bloggers from time to time. I’ve got some names in mind, but if contributing here is something that interests you, just drop me a line.
• I’ve alluded to it in the past, but the RAMP process is going to become a major focal point for us to improve the delivery and outcomes of a comprehensive counseling program in our building. I’ll have a more thorough post coming soon, but consider this the ‘official’ announcement.
• Process and results data are relatively easy to come by with the use of a calendar and attendance/behavior data. I would like to develop (or, better yet, steal) some ways to assess perception data around some standards that we have in place.
• I’m starting to connect more with other professionals, not just in my region, but throughout my state and the rest of the nation. If you don’t already, I highly recommend that you join ASCA, where you have access to their ASCA Scene forum. I plan on continuing to make these important connections on into the new year.

Image credit: Untitled, used under this Creative Commons License.